I arrived back in Dallas on December 17th and was greeted by my favorite faces at the airport! It was the best homecoming ever! I am so blessed by friends and family who love and care for me deeply. Thank you, God!
My friend, Molly, put together a short video recapping our team’s outreach phase in the Kimberley, Russia (for three of our teammates) and Uganda, and you can watch the video here.
You may be wondering, “Okay, she’s back. So what’s next?” I’m glad you asked, but I don’t think I have the answer you’re looking for. While I was in Perth, I got an email from the grandmother of the family I nannied for in Kona/Malaysia saying that she was going to go do her Medical DTS in Kona and felt like she was supposed to bless me with her house for the six months that she would be gone. I prayed about it and accepted the offer. She lives a mile down the road from my sister’s family, in a peaceful and quiet house. She leaves on December 20th and will return on June 16th, so I know I will be in Dallas for at least six months.
Before I left Perth to come back home, I knew I was transitioning into a season of waiting. We had been in Uganda for three weeks and it was during a candlelight worship session that God spoke clearly to me. He spoke just as clearly as when He told me to quit my job over two years ago. It was our team of 12 and we were singing all of these songs that said things like, “My life is yours”, “My heart is yours”, “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it”, “I’ll follow you”. There was one moment where my heart started pounding and I thought to myself, “What is happening to me?” I can’t really explain the feeling, but the closest thing I can compare it to is when you’re on a roller coaster and it’s slowly inching it’s way to the top of the first drop. In your mind you’re thinking, “Oh no… I really want to get off right now, but there is nothing I can do. This is happening and there is no way I can get out of it.” It was kind of like that. And clearly, God spoke: “You’re coming back.” My response? “What?! No. Noooo, nooo, no, no, no. No, I’m not coming back.” God’s response? “Brittany, here are the words you are singing. (Insert words we’ve been singing flooding my mind). Do you mean these words?” “I don’t know! I would really like to think that I mean these words, but I don’t know that I do. I want to. I don’t know, God. You tell me. Are you worth it? Are you worth leaving my friends and family and everything I’ve ever known, surrounded by comfort, and coming to a place unfamiliar, with no friends or family, surrounded by disease and poverty? You tell me. Are you worth it?” As I sat there, sobbing, I began to reflect on the past two years of my life. I thought back to the day that I surrendered control of my life, promising to do whatever it was that God told me to do. I reviewed each step on the path I’ve been walking for the past two years, clearly seeing God’s abundant faithfulness, provision, love, and the joy that came from obedience in each season. I realized that every place that God had taken me was good, and sweet and beyond anything I had ever imagined or dreamed of for myself. I saw that when I went where God told me to go, and when I did what He told me to do, things went well for me. Things went way better for me when I followed God’s voice than when I followed my own voice. I began to lay things down one by one. My family. My friends. My home group. The idea of marriage. Comfort. Things. Options. In the end, I realized that if I only had God and nothing else, I would be okay because He is enough. In that moment I said, “Okay… (pause)… Okay. Yes. You are worth it. You are. If this is where you want me to be, this is where I want to be. Life has been so much richer and joyous as I go where you lead me. So if this place is what you have planned for me, then this is where I want to be. But honestly, I can’t picture myself here. I don’t know how this will work. I need you to help me trust that you know what you are doing. Help me, God.” Over the next three weeks, God responded to my fears and doubts by giving me peace of mind. Although I still didn’t know what was next, I had peace. All of that brings me to the next six months. A season of seeking the Lord and asking Him, “What exactly did you mean by that? Did you mean I’m coming back to Uganda? Did you mean I’m coming back to YWAM? Did you mean I’m coming back to Africa? Did you mean this year? Did you mean in 10 years? What did you mean?” A season of waiting on God and trusting that His response will come at the right time. In the meantime, I’ll start nannying one to two days a week for the family I’ve been working for (when I haven’t been traveling) for the past two years. Thankful for them and the opportunity to serve their family again. Here’s to a new season. I’m glad to have you come along with me on this fun and adventurous ride. Cheers!